As financial advisors, we spend a lot of time talking about what you can control – your asset allocation, your estate plan, your philanthropic goals. But sometimes, the most powerful move in wealth management is learning what to let go of.
That’s where Mel Robbins’ Let Them theory comes in. In her book, Robbins emphasizes that “letting people” make their own choices, without rushing to fix, control, or defend on your part, can free you from unnecessary stress (see Chapter 6). While she applies this idea to relationships and personal boundaries, the same principle has surprising resonance in managing wealth.
Let’s explore how Let Them can change the way you approach your finances.
Let Them Judge Your Lifestyle
High-income earners are often under a microscope. Whether it’s driving a certain car, sending your kids to private school, or investing in a vacation home, there will always be whispers of judgment. Robbins’ reminder to “let them” judge applies beautifully here.
Your financial plan is built around your goals, not someone else’s. If a friend thinks you’re too conservative for holding muni bonds, or too indulgent for collecting fine art, let them. The freedom comes from knowing your decisions are grounded in strategy and the execution of your financial plan, not public approval.
Let Them Doubt Your Investment Approach
Robbins talks about the futility of trying to win everyone’s approval. Similarly, you don’t need to justify your portfolio strategy at every dinner party. Markets are noisy, and so are people.
When a colleague insists you should be all in on private equity because that’s what “their guy” says, you don’t have to argue or adjust course. Let them chase trends. True wealth management is about discipline over decades, not cocktail-party persuasion.
Let Them Stress Over Volatility
Robbins emphasizes choosing peace by not taking on other people’s anxiety. That applies directly to market volatility. Every time the S&P 500 dips, someone in your network will panic. Or it might even be media headlines inducing alarm. If you have a long-term plan in place with your advisor, Let Them stress.
Wealth management isn’t about reacting emotionally to every headline – it’s about staying the course when others are flailing.
Let Them Underestimate the Value of Advice
Not everyone will see the point of hiring a financial advisor. Some will insist they can “do it themselves.” Robbins would say: Let Them.
You already know the value of having a trusted partner who understands complex tax strategies, succession planning, and multi-layered investments. Their skepticism doesn’t diminish the advantages you may gain from personalized, professional guidance. And don’t feel the need to try and change their opinion, even if it’s coming from a place of love and concern. They’re responsible for their plan – not you.
Final Thoughts
Mel Robbins’ Let Them theory is ultimately about freedom and releasing yourself from the exhausting burden of control. In wealth management, that same mindset allows you to focus on what matters: your long-term goals, your family’s legacy, and the impact you want to make.
So, the next time someone questions your financial decisions, take Robbins’ advice. Smile, breathe, and let them.
And remember, while you let others stress about market headlines or debate investment fads, you don’t have to go it alone. Let Them panic, but Let You reach out to your financial advisor. That’s where you can seek out clarity and confidence.
